Enter the CUMMMFPK Dungeon: The joy of coming to Bloodborne late

It’s taken maine 7 years, but I’m yet wrist-deep successful BloodBorne’s guts – and possibly coming to FromSoft’s pièce de résistance precocious is the champion mode to play it.

The Blood-Starved Beast is lunging astatine me, each flayed tegument and sinew glinting successful the low-light of a damned cathedral. It’s poisoned me, and my wellness is draining fast. I’ve got 3 quicksilver bullets near successful my pistol chamber, and I conscionable ate ungraded arsenic I darted to the broadside to debar a fatal slash. This could beryllium it; different doomed encounter. Another bloodstain connected Yharnam’s shattered cobblestones. The beast raises its claws for the termination – and, driven by axenic instinct, my digit hits the DualSense trigger. That noise, the 1 that sounds similar a weapon ricocheting disconnected stone, reverberates astir the arena. A gunshot parry! A quicksilver slug brings the beast to its knees, and I bring my sawblade down with a crunch into the writhing horror’s skull.

Prey slaughtered. And that’s however I fell successful emotion with Bloodborne. And it’s not been for a deficiency of trying – this is my 3rd effort astatine penetrating From’s obscure instrumentality connected a fucked-up, Lovecraftian London. I tried astatine launch, aft ne'er truly getting into these uber-hard action-RPG exercises successful self-flagellation. It didn’t click. I didn’t adjacent marque it done to Father Gascoigne. Back connected PS4 and PS4 Pro, I was promised a spot had made loading times amended and that the hardware would offset immoderate of the rougher edges successful the game. Nope, inactive excessively dilatory and acheronian for me.

Somewhere betwixt past and now, I’d picked up some Nioh games and platinumed them (twice!) Something astir Team Ninja’s much stance-based mentation of the look worked for me. I was hooked. I became 1 of you; a masochist, an addict, a scoundrel. The satellite was right, the clip was now: Yharnam was calling to maine again. And connected the PS5 – wherever loading times are but a faint dream, hazy successful the region – the hunt was genuinely on, for the archetypal time.

I’ve not looked backmost since. I’ve conscionable killed the Vacuous Spider, and I person my sights firmly acceptable connected getting the existent ending – and I’ve got astir each the umbilical cords I request to execute it. Yes, I cognize what’s going on. Yes, I’ve been looking astatine Wiki pages and speechmaking articles arsenic I go. Per proposal from a adjacent friend, I’ve been keeping my Insight precocious (I wanted to spot the satellite alteration earlier it should, arsenic my knowing of this cosmic nightmare came into focus!) and I’ve been fast-tracking my mode to the champion weapons and gear. I’m a engaged person, aft all: I don’t person clip to walk 8 hours of my evening stuck successful a poisoned bastard swamp.

Ello ello, what's each this then?

As overmuch arsenic I’m enjoying leafing done the volumes and volumes of lore astir places I uncover online, there’s 1 happening that’s made this acquisition adjacent amended for maine arsenic I’ve been playing: the cum dungeon. Don’t google it. Use the connection ‘cummmfpk’ instead. Instead of immoderate industrial-looking warehouse afloat of fetish cogwheel and fluids successful Walthamstow, you’ll observe a fast-track to Bloodborne’s precocious echelons: a bizarre subterranean lair that gives you an ungodly magnitude of experience. This is player-made; a customized dungeon that exploits randomly-generated maps afloat of surprises and (in immoderate cases) unused enemies and items.

Once you person entree to the improbable catacombs stretching retired nether Yharnam similar truthful overmuch festering rot, the 'cummmfpk' Chalice dungeon tin marque the mid-game information of Bloodborne a breeze. Some unknown, off-screen force volition dice – implicit and implicit – allowing you to harvest immoderate 80,000+ humor echoes per reset. You tin get implicit 1 cardinal successful minutes. Especially if you’ve been collecting Moon runes.

Sick of farming humor vials for a brag fight? Cum dungeon. Need to rapidly beef up your Arcane stat truthful you tin instrumentality vantage of a mob’s bolt weakness? Cum dungeon. Want to rapidly level up 1 of your lesser-used weapons? Cum dungeon. Now, I cognize immoderate of you pearl-clutching FromSoft purists volition archer maine I’m doing it incorrect – that I’m expected to bash my caput against Darkbeast Paarl for 12 hours to truly bask the acquisition – but I similar it this way. It lets maine bask the crippled connected my ain terms. I inactive request to prosecute with galore of Bloodborne’s funkier elements (hello, Frenzy!) and the crippled inactive offers plentifulness of challenge.

Many horrors await successful the Chalice dungeons. But immoderate treats are hidden down there, too.

I’m presently down to the second-last Chalice Dungeon – and it’s thing but a cakewalk. But I americium redeeming clip and I consciousness great; I tin experimentation with my physique much than I would beryllium capable to successful a cum-less playthrough, and immoderate of the ‘git gud’ borderline has been taken off. Wandering astir the Forbidden Woods and ripping hulking men isolated with my kirkhammer feels wonderful, sending currents of coursing bolt vigor done a dungeon watcher is invigorating. Putting the Shadows of Yharnam to furniture without breaking a sweat was divine.

So yes, I whitethorn beryllium playing Bloodborne successful an impure mode – but that feels rather fitting for the game, really. But this sticky small shortcut has meant I person mastered immoderate mechanics that I whitethorn person different travel to loathe; recovering my wellness with a rally aft eating a look afloat of claws is simply a stupendous feeling, and realizing the intricacies of each weapon's ‘trick’ virtually makes my jaw driblet successful wonderment each time.

Bloodborne is simply a gem, you were each right, and immoderate perverse prospector’s enactment successful the spunky dungeons has allowed maine to spot that. I can’t hold to decorativeness it (yes, I’m going for the platinum) and commencement connected Elden Ring. I’ve adjacent heard there’s a bully spot to workplace runes successful past year’s GOTY, too…